Week 3.9 – ‘Star Wars Film Review Season’

Last time in ‘Star Wars Film Review Season’!!!

Um…Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader in ‘Revenge of the Sith’.

That’s about it really.

(realises) “Wait a minute!”

I’ve done this one already! I’ve reviewed ‘Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope’ on my blog! Why have we gone back in time between Weeks 3 and 4 of my ‘Star Wars Film Review Season’?

Darth Vader: “You haven’t reviewed the other movie with me in it!”

(surprised) “Darth Vader! It’s you again! What are you doing here?!” (Pause; realises) “Wait a minute! Are you the one responsible for transporting me back in time during my ‘Star Wars Film Review Season’ which I did back in 2017?

Darth Vader: “I am. And you will follow my words. You cannot resist me!”

“Look, Darth. I know who you are anyway! You’re Timelord007 under that mask. I know that because I did Week 6 on ‘Return of the Jedi’ with you…”

Darth Vader: “Ssh! You’re not supposed to know about that yet!”

“What are you talking about? It’s happened! I’ve done Week 6 already…”

Darth Vader: “Ssh! No! You’re not supposed to know. It’s breaking the laws of time if you know my true identity.”

“But I know you’re…” (sighs) “Alright, fine. What is it you want from me, Vader?”

Darth Vader: “I told you, Master Bradley! To review the other ‘Star Wars’ movie with me in it.”

(confused) “But…what other movie is there? I covered you in the first six ‘Star Wars’ movies and you’re definitely not the sequels. So what other movie is there…?” (quickly realises) “…It’s ‘Rogue One: A Star Wars Story’, isn’t it?!

(groans) “Seriously, Vader! Is that why you transported me back in time? For this?! ‘Rogue One’?”

Darth Vader: “I thought you liked the movie.”

“I do! But…I want to review this movie in my own time! I know I had it for Christmas in 2017 and I watched it over the Christmas holidays, but…I don’t want to rush into reviewing it.”

Darth Vader: “You’ve done all the other ‘Star Wars’ movies. Including ‘The Last Jedi’ which I totally deny its existence! I hate that movie so much!”

“Why? Because…you’re not in it?”

Darth Vader: “Well…there is that. But that’s beside the point…”

(interrupts) “Look, Vader. I will get onto to reviewing ‘Rogue One’ as soon as I can. Just let me do it in my own free time.”

Darth Vader: (mind-tricks on Tim) “You will review ‘Rogue One’ now for me, Master Bradley!”

“Vader, how many times have I told you? Your mind tricks don’t work…” (suddenly entranced) “I will review ‘Rogue One’ now for you now, Master Vader!”

Darth Vader: (laughs triumphantly) “Yes! I see my mind-tricks have managed to break through your so-called immunity. Now I can control you whenever I want to.” (mind tricks on Tim) “Now…get on with the review, Master Bradley!”

(entranced) “I will get on with the review, Master Vader!”

Darth Vader: “That’s Lord Vader to you, Master Bradley!”

(entranced) “Sorry, Lord Vader.”

Darth Vader: “Excellent! Well I must be going now! Bye!”

Darth Vader leaves. Tim then comes out of his trance with Darth Vader. After a few moments of silence, Tim wakes up and shrugs off the experience he’s just had.

(confused) “Where was I? What was going on? Was I alone?”

Moment of silence. No response.

“Hmm. No-one around.” (Pause) “Now where was I?” (Pause) “Oh yes!” (to audience) “Here is my review on ‘Rogue One: A Star Wars Story’!”

Please check out my review on ‘Rogue One: A Star Wars Story’ by clicking on the link. Please feel free to read and comment on my review.

Stay tuned for my DVD review on ‘Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi’ coming soon to my blog! I also hope to do a review on the ‘Star Wars Holiday Special’ soon.

Bye for now!

Tim. 🙂


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