Hello everyone! 🙂
Welcome to ‘Bradley’s Basement’ blog and I’m Tim Bradley!
It’s time again to talk about…
Tim stops mid-sentence. He checks around the room.
(to audience) Hang on.
Tim then goes around the office to make sure he won’t be disturbed. He checks the windows are locked. They are. He checks the doors are locked. They are. Satisfied, Tim returns to sit at his computer.
(to audience) Sorry about that. It’s just…when I mention someone’s name; he, she or it has a bad habit of interrupting me during my review mid-sentence. Thus, I’ve made sure no interruptions are going to happen with the doors and windows locked in the office.
So, with that said, it’s time again to talk about Deadpool…
(annoyed) Yeah! Yeah!
Tim gets up to look. A unicorn smashed its way through the office wall. Deadpool rides on it.
(unsurprised; waves) Hello, Deadpool.
Deadpool gets off the unicorn.
Deadpool: “Hello, Mr. Bradley! Did you miss me?”
Where did you get that unicorn from? (scoffs) The Penguin from ‘Batman Returns’?
Deadpool: “No I didn’t! Wash your mouth out! Batman is DC! I belong to Marvel! Literally now as Disney bought 20th Century Fox! Hope I can still say flip!”
No, you can’t! I’m still censoring your swear words out.
Deadpool: “Oh flip it!”
Okay, can you get rid of your unicorn, please?
Deadpool: “Um, how exactly?”
I don’t care how! Just get rid of him!
Deadpool: “Um…Expecto Patronum!”
Deadpool uses a magic spell and the unicorn disappears in a bright white light.
(rolls eyes; annoyed) Oh for goodness’ sake!
Deadpool: “You just made me lose my baby!”
Deadpool blows a parting kiss once the unicorn is gone. Just then, Timelord007 enters and meets Deadpool.
Timelord007: “Deadpool! You’re here!”
(surprised) Timelord, you’re here too?
Timelord007: (to Tim) “Of course! I wouldn’t want to miss meeting Deadpool, would I?” (to Deadpool) “So Deadpool! Is ‘Deadpool 3’ a go?”
Deadpool: “Holy flip-balls it is!”
Timelord007: “What about the Fox/Disney merger?”
Deadpool: “What about it?”
Timelord007: “Well, if Disney are producing Marvel in house, you’ll become part of the ‘MCU’. It may mean no more R-rated violence and sexual innuendo.”
Deadpool: “Oh, don’t worry your handsome ruggish features! I have photos of several big name producers doing very rude things to dogs! If they try censoring me, those lovely pics will get leaked online!”
Timelord007: “Phew, that’s a relief! Last thing we need is a PG-13 ‘Deadpool’ movie to appease the PC/SJW!”
Deadpool: “Hey! That’ll be the plot for the next movie! ‘Deadpool vs. the SJW Brigade’! We’ll cast Brie Larson as the villain! Do you want to get into some spandex and be my sidekick?”
Timelord007: “Who wouldn’t?!”
Deadpool: “Cool! You handsome man! You can be…the Dark Avenger!”
Timelord007: “Great name…”
As the conversation between Deadpool and Timelord007 goes on, Tim watches slightly unimpressed.
(sighs; to audience) Yeah! Deadpool’s become quite a hot topic now, hasn’t he?
What started off as a Marvel comic book character created by Fabian Nicieza and Rob Liefeld in the 1990s has become a worldwide phenomenon. And that’s especially on the movie front. Ryan Reynolds’ portrayal of Deadpool in his latest movie hits has become fan pleasing and audience pleasing all the way round. It’s incredible how that’s turned out and I’m happy Ryan Reynolds gets the praise he deserves!
With his very often fourth-wall breaking and hilarious wise-cracking quips in these action-packed, gore-filled, 15-rated/R-rated movies of his, Deadpool is one of the finest and most memorable Marvel characters to date. But with that said, his films can often be on that verge of, well…getting predictable.
Not in a bad way mind! I mean, there are aspects of a ‘Deadpool’ movie that often surprise me as I watch one. But when ‘Deadpool’ fans go into watching a movie of his, you know what to expect. You expect the gore, you expect the fourth-wall breaking; you expect Deadpool’s foul-mouthed nature.
You also know that he’s going to have a bad attitude to life, especially with the adult humour coming into play; the dialogue he says and how he tackles certain situations within a superhero atmosphere. Because of that, I don’t see Deadpool as…that very ideal Marvel comic book character to model upon.
Deadpool and Timelord007 gasp in shock.
Deadpool: (to Tim) “I’m a R-rated wisecracking bad boy, mother-flipper! If you want campy comic book movies, watch ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’!”
Timelord007: (to Deadpool) “Which you were in! And it completely ruined your character! With that abomination at the end!”
(unconvinced; to Timelord007) “Seriously, Timelord! You really think that just because ‘Deadpool 1’ was the highest-grossing 15/R-rated film of all time, it deserves that much attention? From both young and old audiences? As well as with the awards it seemed to be miraculously getting at the time it was released at cinemas?
Timelord007: “Yes! Because I’m sick and fed up of goody good, happy slappy PG-13 comic book movies!”
Look! I don’t think Deadpool is a bad Marvel superhero character. I honestly don’t. I just don’t think he’s the Messiah of the Marvel comic book superheroes either!
Deadpool: (loud voice) “KNEEL BEFORE DEADPOOL!!!”
Timelord007: “Err…that’s ‘Superman II’, Wade! It’s DC!”
Moment of silence.
Deadpool: “I knew that! Of course I did, idiot!”
I don’t know. I think the best way that Deadpool can be seen with positives and negatives as a Marvel comic book character in a movie situation would be best summed up in ‘Deadpool 2’.
Timelord007: “The awesomeness of the extended cut!”
Deadpool: “Flip yeah!”
(sighs) Yes Deadpool! You’re in it! That’s what we’re talking about today!
Deadpool: “Me, me, me! It’s all about me!”
Timelord007: “You’re the ultimate comic book god! I adore you!”
Deadpool: “Man hug time!”
Deadpool and Timelord007 hug each other.
Timelord007: “Ah!!! I’m feeling the love!”
The hug goes on for too long though.
Timelord007: “Um, ok! That’s enough touchy feely, Wade.”
Tim ignores Deadpool and Timelord007 hugging each other as he continues the review.
(to audience) ‘Deadpool 2’ is of course the sequel to the first ‘Deadpool’ movie. Released in 2018, this movie, like the first one, was praised for its humour, acting, storytelling and action sequences by fans, critics and audiences alike. It was a crowd-pleaser and managed to win a lot of money, being the highest grossing 15/R-rated film of all time. Just like how the first ‘Deadpool’ movie did it when it was released in 2016.
But with that, do I think ‘Deadpool 2’ deserves the praise it’s received. Well, in a way yes. I found how much I enjoyed this movie when I first saw it on DVD at my best mate Stephen’s house recently. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t flaws to find in it. What flaws you might ask? Well I hope to enlighten you as I progress to explain what the story and the characters are about for this ‘quick’ review of mine.
This is what I observed from seeing ‘Deadpool 2’. The movie…
Deadpool: “A cinematic masterpiece!”
Timelord007: “A great movie made more awesome with the Super Duper Extended Cut!”
(annoyed) I’ve not seen the Super Duper Extended Cut on Blu-ray, you two! I’m going by what I’ve seen on the DVD release. I’ll see the Super Duper Extended Cut some other time when I revisit the two ‘Deadpool’ films.
Deadpool: (shocked) “He hasn’t seen the Super Duper Extended Cut with more action scenes and changes to the post credit scenes?!”
Timelord007: (shocked; to Deadpool) “Which means he hasn’t seen the scene with you and baby Hitler!”
Deadpool and Timelord007 are left in shock for a moment.
(sighs; to audience) Anyway, where was I? (thinks) Oh yes!
The movie has Deadpool…mourning over the death of Wolverine? Who was killed in ‘Logan’!
(unimpressed; to Deadpool) Oh. Okay. Nice way to start, Deadpool.
Deadpool: “I don’t believe Logan is dead! That movie was set in an alternative universe! Hugh Jackman will be in ‘Deadpool 3’ one way or another!”
Timelord007: “Don’t get me started on ‘Logan’! 90 minutes of R-rated awesomeness ruined by a depressing ending!”
But seriously! Why would you start the movie like that? There’s bound to be people who’ve never seen ‘Logan’! They’ll walk in thinking, “What’s going on?” Big spoiler alert! Nice way for you to upset the kiddies who loved Wolverine in those ‘X-Men’ movies from the start to know he’s dead already!
Deadpool: “Logan is dead! Wolverine is not!”
Timelord007: “I really hate that ending! They should’ve brought Sabretooth back! But nah! He has fight with a clone of himself…”
(interrupts; to Timelord007) “Timelord! I’ve not seen ‘Logan’ yet! Don’t spoil it for me!”
Deadpool: “It is very sad, Tim.”
Timelord007: “It’s very depressing! Especially the ending! I’d change it to have Sabretooth…”
Timelord007 rants away whilst Tim ignores him, continuing the review.
(to audience) Anyway, the movie takes place two years after the events of ‘Deadpool 1’. He guns people down in Hong Kong somewhere…I think that’s where he did it…before he returns to his girlfriend, Morena Baccarin as Vanessa, who was in the first film, for their anniversary. They talk about starting a family. Aww, that’s nice. It’d be superb to see Deadpool and Vanessa have a family!
But then, big angry men with guns come in and attack Wade Wilson/Deadpool’s flat. Very soon…Vanessa gets killed. (Pause) Yeah! Vanessa was only at the beginning of the film to be killed. (Pause) Huh! That’s horrible! I hoped there’d be more of the Deadpool/Vanessa romance for this movie.
Deadpool: (to Timelord007) “You like Morena Baccarin don’t you, Timelord?”
Timelord007: “Hmm! I do! I have very naughty thoughts of me and Morena dressing up and cosplaying!”
Moment of silence as Tim rolls his eyes.
After killing the man who killed Vanessa, Deadpool also decides to commit suicide, blaming himself for his girlfriend’s death. And he does! Blowing himself up! Yeah! Deadpool blows himself up! Okay.
(to Deadpool) Huh! Well that was a short movie, Deadpool. I mean, it wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be, but I think you could’ve done more to stretch out the story.
Timelord007: “At least he went out with a bang! I think he might be still alive though, Tim.”
(gobsmacked) What?! You mean he didn’t die?!
Deadpool: “Well of course, I’m not dead! Not for the want of trying mind!”
Oh seriously! What more can you tell in this movie? You killed the girlfriend – the emotional heart of the first film – as well as blowed up the main character. I don’t see what else you can tell in this film apart from having the X-Men make an appearance…WAIT!!! The X-Men make an appearance here?!
James McAvoy as Professor X, Nicholas Hoult as Beast, Evan Peters as Quicksilver, Tye Sheridan as Cyclops, Alexandra Shipp as Storm, and Kodi Smit-McPhee as Nightcrawler! They all make an appearance in this film?! Wow Deadpool! Now you got me hooked! X-Men in a ‘Deadpool’ movie!!!!
Deadpool: “We had a bigger budget for this sequel!”
Awesome! So, when do the X-Men come back again?
Moment of awkward silence.
Timelord007: “Well…two of them feature with Deadpool.” (Pause) “From the first ‘Deadpool’ movie.”
No, I don’t want to know about Colossus and Super Teenage Mutant Kid or whatever she was called. I want to know when Professor X comes back! When does Beast come back? And Quicksilver? And Cyclops! Does Mystique make an appearance in this?
Another moment of awkward silence.
Timelord007: “Um, Tim. That’s the only time they appear. In that cameo appearance. For the DVD version of the film anyway.”
Another moment of awkward silence.
(gradually) What? (Pause) What about the extended cut? Do they make a second appearance in that?
Deadpool: (whispers; to Timelord007) “Why should we tell him? He can’t be bothered to watch the Super Duper Cut!”
(disheartened) You mean…they don’t make a second appearance in the extended cut either?
Timelord007: (whispers; to Deadpool) “We could lie and say they’re in the Super Duper Cut of the movie.”
Both Deadpool and Timelord007 giggle maliciously before Tim superhumanly throws Deadpool up against a wall.
(madly) You evil monster, Deadpool! How come you didn’t have the X-Men more in your movie?!
Deadpool: (scared) “Stan Lee! Stan Lee!!! He’s in the movie! Thankfully before he went and croaked it!”
(madly) YOU EVIL, EVIL MONSTER!!!
Timelord007 breaks it up.
Timelord007: (shouts) “STOP THIS AT ONCE!!! We’re adults! Not naughty school children!”
A tense moment of silence ensues. Eventually, Tim lets Deadpool go.
(mad-eyed; to Deadpool) You haven’t heard the last of this, Deadpool! This isn’t over!
With that, Tim walks off back to his computer. Deadpool and Timelord007 watch Tim, disturbed.
Deadpool: (to Timelord007) “He needs Jesus or anger management.”
Timelord007: (to Deadpool) “He needs Sarah Sutton to calm him.”
Another tense moment of silence ensues.
(to audience) The movie continues by having Deadpool be an X-Man for a while. He joins Colossus (voiced by Stefan Kapičić) and Brianna Hildebrand as Negasonic Teenage Warhead. They sort out a situation with a young hot-headed fat boy, Julian Dennison as Russell Collins also known as Firefist…
Deadpool bursts out laughing, interrupting Tim.
(annoyed) What are you finding funny now, Deadpool?
Deadpool: (laughs) “Fat tubby kid with fire fists! You couldn’t make this poo up! Think Stan Lee had an off day creating this character.”
Deadpool continues laughing whilst Tim tries not to pay attention.
(poker-faced) I’m not laughing. (Pause) In any case, it wasn’t Stan Lee who created him. It was Bob Layton and Jackson Guice in ‘X-Factor #1’, February 1986. Do your research.”
Deadpool: (laughs; mockingly) “I got fiery fists and I’m fat! Fatty, fatty, bum, bum, fatso, tubby!”
Deadpool continues laughing.
The fact that fat kid Russell has the name Firefist…
Deadpool laughs again, interrupting Tim.
(ignores Deadpool; continues) The fact that fat kid Russell has the name Firefist…never made me laugh.
Timelord007: “Fire-farts might have been more appropriate. After all the food he consumes.”
Shut up, Timelord!
(to audience) Eventually Deadpool and Russell get arrested before they’re taken to the Ice Box, an isolated prison for mutant criminals. They’re soon rescued by Josh Brolin as Thanos…I mean Thanos…I mean Thanos…I mean Thanos…I mean…THANOS!!! Yeah! It’s Thanos! It’s definitely Thanos! It has to be Thanos! There’s no way it can’t be Thanos!
Timelord007: “Josh Brolin! He’d made an awesome Batman! But he was amazing as Thanos! Go on, click your fingers!”
Timelord007 clicks his fingers in Thanos style.
No, no, NO!!! I’m calling him Thanos because Deadpool called him Thanos in the movie! So why can’t I?
Deadpool: “Because he was Josh Brolin, star of ‘The Goonies’?”
Timelord007: “Or Cable in this movie.”
Look! I’m just very disappointed you didn’t cast Kiera Knightley to play Cable. Deadpool promised she would be Cable in the first film’s post-credits scene! SO WHY ISN’T SHE CAST AS CABLE HERE?!!!
Deadpool: “BECAUSE I CO-WROTE AND CO-PRODUCED THE MOVIE!!! I GET TO SAY WHO GETS CAST!!!”
Timelord007: “Besides, it’s a male role! It wouldn’t work with a female playing it!”
(madly) I WANT KIERA KNIGHTLEY TO BE CABLE! SHE MUST BE CABLE NO MATTER WHAT!!!
Moment of silence. Deadpool and Timelord007 confer quietly with each other.
Deadpool: (whispers; to Timelord007) “He’s gotta a thing for Kiera Knightley, hasn’t he?”
Timelord007: (whispers; to Deadpool) “Sarah Sutton will be getting jealous.”
They return to Tim reviewing the movie.
(to audience) It turns out that Thanos is a cybernetic soldier from the future. He has come to kill Russell Collins before he murdered his family as Sauron…I mean Sala Baker. I’m actually surprised they didn’t do a time paradox thing where it was actually Thanos who killed his family and it wasn’t Russell after all. It could’ve easily ended up with his two daughters in ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’!!!! 😀
Deadpool: “Oh not the timey wimey stuff!”
Timelord007: “Please tell me Steven Moffat didn’t contribute to the movies script!”
After managing to escape the Ice Box, Deadpool soon recruits other mutants to become the X-Force in order to rescue Russell. The people that Deadpool and his friend T.J. Miller as Weasel recruit for the X-Force are as follows. Terry Crews as Bedlam, Lewis Tan as Shatterstar, Tim Curry as Zeitgeist…
Timelord007: (interrupts) “It’s not Tim Curry, Tim! It’s Bill Skarsgård! I know Tim Curry and Bill Skarsgård played different versions of Pennywise the Clown in two versions of ‘It’, but…
(interrupts; to Timelord007) Hey, look! With all the in-jokes and the fourth wall breaking, I’m surprised there wasn’t an ‘It’ reference or an in-joke to Bill Skarsgård appearing in this film!
Deadpool: “Timelord just mentioned ‘It’, Tim.”
(rolls eyes) Thank you Deadpool for pointing out the blinking obvious.
(continues; to audience) There’s also Rob Delaney as Peter…who joined because he liked the ad for X-Force. (Pause; to Deadpool) So, does that mean anyone can join X-Force, Deadpool? Like anyone? Literally anyone can join?
Deadpool: “Yes! So long as you’re not part of the DC universe!”
Deadpool: “Even you, Tim!”
Timelord007: “And Sarah Sutton!”
And Cuddles here?
Cuddles: (excited) “YAY!!! I want to join! I want to join!”
See! You’d make Cuddles really happy if he joined…
Deadpool: “No! The stuffed dog can’t join!”
Aww come on, Deadpool! He’s Cuddles! He’s a cute cuddly little toy dog! He’s like my unicorn…
Deadpool: “He’s a stuffed toy dog! He’s not real! You’re doing the woofs for him!”
Cuddles: (whimpers) “Wuff!”
Cuddles walks off, upset.
(disappointed) See you what’ve done there, Deadpool! You’ve upset the poor fella.
Deadpool: “He’s a puppet!”
Timelord007: “I hate that dog! Throw him in the fire!”
(madly; to Timelord007; Deadpool) You monsters! YOU EVIL, EVIL MONSTERS!!!
Moment of silence as Deadpool and Timelord007 look at Tim disturbed.
(continues; to audience) The film also features the Vanisher…who we don’t see until he gets killed off as almost all of the ‘X-Force’ members die during landing via parachute. And it happens to be Brad Pitt!
(annoyed; to Deadpool) Nice job, Deadpool! Giving a wasted role to an actor like Brad Pitt!
Deadpool: “It was just a CGI image really. We couldn’t afford the real Brad Pitt.”
Timelord007: “Brad Pitt! I loved him in ‘Troy’!”
(concurs with Timelord007) Yeah he was good in that.
(continues; to audience) There’s also Zazie Beetz as Dominio, who is a mercenary with the mutant ability of luck! No really! That’s her mutant power! She relies on luck and it always works for her!
Gee! I wish I could have some luck like that! Like having tons of toy unicorns fall on top of Deadpool when I clap my hands during the review.
Tim claps his hands.
Deadpool: (realises; puzzled) “Wait! What’s that noise?”
Suddenly, tons of toy unicorns fall on top of Deadpool and Timelord007, surprising them.
Timelord007: (moans; complains) “Unicorns!!! Got one stuck up my butt!!!”
Hey! If I’m the writer of this review and I wish for luck to be my superpower, anything is possible. (daydreams) I should try my luck and wish to go to another convention so that I can see Sarah Sutton again! 🙂
Timelord007: (grumbles; to Deadpool) “Loves seeing Sarah at a convention he does.”
Deadpool: (yells; annoyed) “WHO IN HOLY FLIP BALLS IS SARAH SUTTON?!!!”
Timelord007 starts to help himself and Deadpool by getting the tons of toy unicorns off them.
The film also has Russell Collins team up with another mutant from the Ice Box. The Juggernaut!
Juggernaut (from ‘X-Men: The Last Stand’): “I’M THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!!!”
Deadpool: “Oh dear.”
Timelord007: (groans) “He just had to have that awful line said from ‘The Last Stand’, didn’t he?”
(to Deadpool) Hey look, I’m very disappointed you didn’t add in an in-joke to Vinnie Jones’ Juggernaut from that ‘X-Men’ movie! So why can’t I put an in-joke like that in my review here?
Deadpool: “Because the line isn’t funny!”
Timelord007: “It’s true, Tim! It’s a cringe-worthy line!”
(sighs; to audience) With that said though, the Juggernaut in this movie is very impressive! I mean, MY GOODNESS!!! HE’S HUGE! I’ve never seen an interpretation of Juggernaut like this before! In many ways, he’s more convincing and more faithful a comic book adaptation of the character compared to the ‘X-Men: The Last Stand’ one!!! I mean, seriously! It’s how I envisaged Juggernaut!!!
And he rips Deadpool apart in two…YIKES!!! WHIPPY, DIPPY, HOTTY, POTTY, DONKY, FREAKY, BEAKY, WHAT?!!!!! THAT WAS SHOCKINGLY GRUESOME!!! (to Deadpool) How do you allow stuff like that to happen in your movies, Deadpool! You’re going to traumatise kids by making them watch this stuff!!
Deadpool: “Look! I’m half the man I used to be!”
Timelord007: “He had to split, Tim.”
(groans) Oh stop it with those puns, you two! (Pause) Besides, it’s a miracle you managed to get a new pair of legs.
Deadpool: “Not just legs! Look at…”
No, no! Don’t show me that! I don’t see that part!
Deadpool: “But look at my manly dangler…”
NO, NO! I don’t want to see you with baby legs and a thing you have that is pretty shuddering!!!
Timelord007: “Okay! That’s kind of flipped up!”
Deadpool: “I rest my case.”
Eventually, the film ends with Deadpool seemingly dead and meeting Vanessa in the afterlife before he gets rescued by Thanos who brings him back to life. He does this by using the last charge on his time-travelling device. I don’t think that’s how time-travel works but, okay. We’ll accept it here.
So, Deadpool lives to fight another day! And that’s the end of the movie!
(to Deadpool) Well, I got to admit, Deadpool. The movie wasn’t bad as I was expecting it to be but I must admit…
Timelord007: (interrupts) “It’s not quite the end, Tim.”
(puzzled) What are you talking about, Timelord? (realises) Oh wait! There’s more! (Pause) Like…five or six scenes more!
Deadpool: “Yes! And they’re the most hilarious scenes you’ll ever see in a post credit sequence!”
Timelord007: “They are awesome! Especially on the Super Duper Cut…”
(interrupts) Look, Timelord; Deadpool! I know the baby Adolf Hitler scene is in the Super Duper Cut on Blu-ray. I should know that since I’ve seen it on YouTube. Yes, I cheated there. But it’s not on the DVD release and I’m not commenting on it here.
Deadpool: (cheekily) “Let’s kill Hitler!”
(to audience) In the mid-credits montage, Deadpool uses Thanos’ time-travelling device…which gets fully-charged…to save the life of his girlfriend Vanessa. Yeah! Vanessa’s back to life at the end! So her death in the movie wasn’t much to worry about! (scoffs; to Deadpool) Thanks, Deadpool! Thanks for relieving us of the tension!
Timelord007: “Yeah! Cop out! Another timey wimey ‘Get Out of Jail Free card’ plot device!”
Deadpool: “What’s your problem, Dark Avenger? Moaning about the ending to another movie?!”
(rolls eyes; continues to audience) Deadpool also travels back in time to save X-Force member Peter…who I guess he liked in this movie? What about the other X-Force members who died in this movie, you moron? And he travels back to kill the ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’ version of Deadpool. So, he shot himself! (to Deadpool) Yeah! Well done, Deadpool! You erased yourself out of existence!
Deadpool: “I always hated that version of me!”
(rubs his head) These ‘X-Men’ timelines are so confusing!
(continues; to audience) Deadpool also travels back in time to…kill…Ryan Reynolds…before he is about to star in the atrociously-claimed 2011 DC superhero movie…‘Green Lantern’? (Pause) Yeah. Yeah! That’s good! That sounds about right, yeah! (Pause) Not that I wish for ‘Green Lantern’ to be made in the first place for cinema-goers but…WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING, DEADPOOL?!!!!
Deadpool: “Stopping myself from making career suicide.”
Timelord007: (to Deadpool) “Couldn’t you gone back and stopped yourself appearing in ‘Blade: Trinity’ too?”
(to Deadpool) But by killing yourself before you did ‘Green Lantern’, you killed yourself before doing ‘Deadpool’ and ‘Deadpool 2’, haven’t you?!!!
Deadpool: “No! Because Steven Moffat writes timey wimey nonsensical twaddle! It’s not supposed make sense!”
Timelord007: (to himself) “My head hurts! It reminds me of Nebula in ‘Avengers: Endgame’. The older wiser version kills the younger evil version of herself, but remains alive in the present day?”
(to Deadpool) No! Surely this must be nonsensical! If you killed yourself in ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’ as well as Ryan Reynolds before he did ‘Green Lantern’, wouldn’t it have confused the timelines somewhat? Also, how come Ryan Reynolds exists in your universe when Wade Wilson/Deadpool should be separate from him? Does Ryan Reynolds exist in a parallel universe when you shot him before he went on to play Green Lantern in ‘Green Lantern’ or something ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS MAKES NO SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deadpool: (to Timelord007) “He’s very emotional, isn’t he?”
Timelord007: (to Deadpool) “Sarah Sutton forgot to send him a birthday card this year.”
Deadpool: (annoyed) “WHO IS SARAH SUTTON?!!!”
Timelord007: (realises) “Oh! I didn’t know that. Sorry, Tim.”
But despite the issues I have with the post-credits scenes, they’re also why they make ‘Deadpool 2’ a very good and enjoyable movie!
Deadpool: (puzzled) “Did he just praise my Mobie?”
Timelord007: “You’re turning to the dark side, Tim?”
(ignores Deadpool and Timelord007; continues; to audience) I mean, okay, I’m not saying ‘Deadpool 2’ is a masterpiece by any standards. I wouldn’t compare it to great epic superhero films like ‘Superman: The Movie’; the 1989 ‘Batman’ film and ‘Spider-Man 1’ and ‘2’. But for what it’s worth, ‘Deadpool 2’ has the makings of a pretty good, faithful comic book adaptation of a Marvel character.
Both ‘Deadpool 1’ and ‘2’ are great films for 15/R-rated audiences. It’s not something I would regularly see, but I’m happy to have seen these films. There’s plenty of action; plenty of humour and certainly plenty of fourth-wall breaking; in-jokes and references to enjoy from this film atmosphere.
I can get over the foul-mouthed stuff and adult humour as I’ve become accustomed to it in these ‘Deadpool’ films. If they should ever make a ‘Deadpool 3’ for the cinema, I’ll be very happy to watch it at the cinema. I hope I’ll get to revisit the ‘Deadpool’ movies again when it comes to reviewing them in full-detail on Blu-ray, especially with the Super Duper Cut extended version for ‘Deadpool 2’ here.
Deadpool: (to Timelord) “Does this mean we have come back to review the Super Duper Cut?”
Timelord007: (to Deadpool) “I imagine it does.”
Deadpool: “Holy flip balls!!!”
Deadpool, as far as I’m concerned, there’s only one thing you did right in this reality.
Deadpool: (puzzled) “What’s that?”
You supported the notion of there being a ‘Spider-Man’/’Deadpool’ movie!
Timelord007: (surprised) “Did he?”
Deadpool: (surprised) “Did I?”
(madly) Yes! And the reason I know that is because…
Tim stands up and takes off his mask. Timelord007 and Deadpool gasp. Tim has revealed himself as…
Spider-Man: “I am Spider-Man!”
Deadpool: “Now there’s a twist I didn’t see coming!”
Timelord007: “Tim is Spider-Man?! Does Sarah Sutton know?”
Spider-Man: “Yes! It’s true! I am Spider-Man! In fact! I’m all of them! Tobey Maguire; Andrew Garfield; Tom Holland; even Tim Bradley! Yes! Tim Bradley is Spider-Man in real-life! I’m also the Spider-Men from the 1990s cartoon show and the Spider-Men from ‘Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse’, including Spider-Gwen and Spider-Pig! Not Spider-Ham as they call him in the movie! I’m Spider-Man incarnate in all his and her forms!”
Timelord007: (to Deadpool) “He’s lost the plot.”
Deadpool: (to Timelord007) “But did he ever have a plot to begin with?”
Spider-Man: (goes crazy) “You dare blaspheme the good name of Spider-Man! He who is your saviour! From all the Doc Ocks; Green Goblins and Venoms in the world! Including the Venom from that awful ‘Venom’ movie with Tom Hardy! The one they’re making a sequel out of! HOW CAN THIS HAPPEN?!!!
Deadpool: “Because it made money?”
Timelord007: “Tom Hardy ruined ‘Mad Max’ and then ‘Venom’! Go kick his butt, Spider-Man!”
Spider-Man: “Good idea! Got to go!”
With that, Spider-Man races off and smashes his way out of the office window. He swings away, laughing madly as he does so. Deadpool and Timelord007 watch as Spider-Man goes.
Deadpool: (gradually) “He was Spider-Man all along?”
Timelord007: (astonished) “Blimey! Billy Walker is Spider-Man, Wade!”
Timelord007: “Phoar!!! I hope so! I’d get first date with her anytime!”
Deadpool: “You can have Sally Field or Rosemary Harris then.”
Timelord007: “No chance! It’s Marisa Tomei for me!”
Deadpool: “Um…with great power comes great responsibility?”
Timelord007: “Said by the most irresponsible superhero of all time.”
Deadpool: “Good point.”
Timelord007: “Come on, Deadpool! I’ll buy you afternoon tea and muffins.”
Deadpool: “Ooh! Chimichangas!” (Pause) “What are muffins?”