WOO-HOO!!!!!!
Hey guys; hey girls! I had a great birthday on the 8th of May 2018! Oh I had so many nice messages from friends who wished me a “Happy Birthday!” via birthday cards; Facebook and my blog! I also had plenty of nice gifts on my birthday! They included four movies which were ‘Pudsey the Dog: The Movie’, ‘Gravity’, ‘Lady In The Water’ and ‘The Cable Guy’; three Big Finish audios of ‘Doctor Who’ with Peter Davison, Sarah Sutton, Janet Fielding and Matthew Waterhouse which were ‘Kingdom of Lies’, ‘Ghost Walk’ and ‘Serpent In The Silver Mask’; and five ‘Doctor Who’ Target novelizations which were ‘City of Death’ (the junior novelization), ‘Rose’, ‘The Christmas Invasion’, ‘The Day of the Doctor’ and ‘Twice Upon A Time’. I also had a nice meal at a Frankie & Benny’s restaurant on my birthday!
And this is me recreating my birthday happiness from May 2018 which is not what you’re here for, is it? You’re here because you want a full-on review on ‘Avengers: Infinity War’, don’t you?
Fair enough! But first…!
Hello everyone! 🙂
Welcome to ‘Bradley’s Basement’ blog and I’m Tim Bradley!
And welcome back everyone to this year’s ‘Marvel Cinematic Universe Film Review Season’!
The thing is; I want to recreate the birthday feel I had when watching ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ back in May 2018. I want to do that by going to a convention as well since I went to the ‘Folkestone Film, TV & Comic Con’ after seeing the movie in May 2018. Peter Davison, Sarah Sutton and Janet Fielding were there. (dreams happily; being nostalgic) I’ve such happy memories of that birthday weekend. 🙂
Sadly, I can’t physically do that since I’m currently stuck at home during the lockdown period with the coronavirus pandemic happening – please keep safe. But it doesn’t mean I can’t recreate the birthday experience virtually. It’s fortunate I have a TARDIS that can take me anywhere…well, at least via the Internet. Thus, I’m going to recreate the birthday experience I had in May 2018…online!
I’m going to go to the Divergent Universe via TARDIS where I hope to watch ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ again and attend the ‘Folkestone Film, TV and Comic Con’! Hopefully I’ll be able to invite some online friends along to join me to watch/review the film as well as attend the Folkestone convention.
So, I’m off to my TARDIS now! 🙂
Tim gets up and heads off to his TARDIS. He returns shortly.
(to audience) And of course, you can come along too! Follow me! 😀
With that, Tim gets into his TARDIS. Tim’s TARDIS dematerialises, whooshing and grinding as it heads off into time and space.
Tim’s TARDIS journeys through the time vortex to reach the Divergent Universe.
Eventually, on a rock in space within the Divergent Universe, Tim’s TARDIS arrives. Whooshing and grinding, Tim’s TARDIS makes a loud thump to land. The TARDIS doors open and Tim steps out.
(satisfied) Yes! This seems like a good place to meet up with online friends and recreate my 2018 birthday experience. (realises) Oh! And how good that a control console happens to be here! I can send my invitations to people who come to the Divergent Universe so that they can join me to watch and review ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ as well as attend a convention.
Tim approaches the control console and presses buttons on it. After composing the invitations he wants to send…
(realises) Oh! Oh dear! I can only summon three people to join me on this space rock within the Divergent Universe. (thinks) Ah well. It’s better than nothing I suppose. (happily) Time to press the button and send the invites to three people!
Tim presses the button. A signal echoes from the control console as Tim waits.
Hmm! I wonder if anyone will answer me.
Just then, three TARDIS materialise nearby, whooshing and grinding. Tim turns around to see three TARDISes appear on the space rock next to his TARDIS.
(pleased) Ah! It seems three people did.
The three TARDISes soon make loud thumps to land. Eventually, three people come out of their TARDISes one at a time. The first person out of his TARDIS is…
(pleased) Wolfie!
Wolfie: “Salute, Tim!” (Pause) “Oh thank God! You don’t know how many planets I’ve stepped foot on with those words. I’m sure ‘Tim o’ the Salute’ is now a minor deity in Triangulum somewhere.” (clears throat) “Am I early for tomorrow? Or late for yesterday? I hear the pitter-patter of a familiar vworp drive. Very familiar! Looks like our next person to join us is…”
The second person struts out of his TARDIS like Vince McMahon.
(pleased) Whiskeybrewer!
Whiskeybrewer: “Hola, bitches. It wouldn’t be a party without this obscure and random reference dropping stud. Ain’t that right, Max?”
Whiskeybrewer nudges Wolfie with his elbow.
Whiskeybrewer: (continues) “Saviour of pub quizzes across the known worlds! That’s what they call me! And by ‘they’, I mean my Mum.”
And the third person out of his TARDIS is…
(pleased) And Timelord007!
Timelord007: “I’m here to chew bubblegum and review the ‘Avengers’ movies! And I’m all out of bubblegum!”
It’s impossible to do a crossover review on ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ without you, Timelord!
Timelord007: “Of course! It’s not a party without Timelord007!”
And thank you, Wolfie and Whiskeybrewer for letting me use your Divergent Universe forum avatars to represent you for this introductory blog post we’re doing!
Whiskeybrewer: “It’s great to be here! Nice to get out of the AvP galaxy for a while and shake up the routine! This might be the chance to finally try some Shawarma.”
Wolfie: “Thank you for inviting us along, Tim. Promises to be lots of fun! I’ll get that autoprint from Messer Polo one of these days.”
Alright! Now that we’re all here, we can do this! The four of us are going to have a great time!
Timelord007: “Well, until ‘Endgame’.”
(ignores Timelord007) First, it’s ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ and then it’s off to the ‘Folkestone Film, TV and Comic Con’ back in May 2018! I can’t wait to see Peter Davison, Sarah Sutton and Janet Fielding again!
Whiskeybrewer: (unconvinced) “You need to sweeten the deal, somewhat. Like a date with Holliday Grainger when she was in ‘Merlin’.”
John Levene will be there, Whiskeybrewer.
Whiskeybrewer: “‘Ave it! John “It’s sh*t” Levene. Now there’s a man you could do a review with.”
(continues) As well as Frazer Hines, Richard Franklin, Katy Manning…
Timelord007: (happily) “Katy Manning hugged me once! Squeezed my cheek and said I was a cutie! I haven’t washed my right cheek since!”
Even Paul McGann will be there!
Wolfie: “Sounds exciting!”
But first things first, let’s brave through the viewing and reviewing experience of ‘Avengers: Infinity War’! It’ll be a tough journey, but the four of us can do it successfully!
Deadpool appears, astonishing everyone.
Deadpool: “Hello! Is this the losers club?”
Wolfie: (astonished) “What?”
Whiskeybrewer: (astonished) “What?!”
Deadpool: “Oh I’m sorry! My mistake! It’s ‘Geek R Us’!”
(annoyed) Deadpool, what are you doing here? How did you even get here in this universe?! In fact, where have you been all this time? You haven’t appeared on my blog very lately.
Deadpool: “I’ve been on a personal hunt for the man formally known as…Francis!”
(sighs; annoyed) Deadpool, we’re not doing ‘Deadpool 2’ here! This is ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ we’re tackling! You’re not in it!
Wolfie: (chews thumb, embarrassed) “Anymore…”
Deadpool: “Tim, that hurts! You just cut into old Wade’s heart and broke a piece off!”
Wolfie: “Keep finding chunks in the pockets! Eight years of therapy.” (to Deadpool) “Do you want this jacket?”
Timelord007: “Tim, you broke Wade’s heart!”
Whiskeybrewer: “He’ll grow it back. He’s such a whiner. Seriously, you’d think he’d grow something else while he’s at it!”
Deadpool: “I am in this movie alongside Josh (should’ve played Batman in ‘BvS’) Brolin as Cable!”
(sighs; annoyed) Oh for goodness sake! Deadpool, Josh Brolin is not Cable in this movie! He’s Thanos! Cable and Thanos aren’t the same person! I know I said Cable was Thanos in ‘Deadpool 2’ but that was for the review! I wasn’t being serious!”
Deadpool: “They are the same person! They’re played by the same actor! Like Ed skinny face who really is Francis!”
(annoyed) Will you stop going on about Francis being alive, Deadpool?! He’s dead! You shot him in ‘Deadpool 1’! Ed Skrien played a different character in the ‘Patrick’ movie! As well as other films like ‘Midway’!
Deadpool: (shocked) “Francis was in ‘Midway’?!”
Deadpool takes out his gun and loads it.
Deadpool: “He didn’t die! I must be the one to kill Francis!”
Tim walk away, screaming his head off, annoyed.
Wolfie: (to Whiskeybrewer) “Bet you can’t invert his dematerialisation circuit while he’s away.”
Whiskeybrewer cracks his fingers.
Whiskeybrewer: “Give me 15 minutes. If I’m not back, just wait longer.”
Tim then comes back.
Deadpool! Just go away and come back in a few weeks’ time! I don’t know, we may have some special cameo for you in ‘Avengers: Endgame’. Just get lost will you, you psycho!
Timelord007: “Don’t talk to him like that, Tim! Deadpool’s for life! Not just for Christmas!”
He’s Deadpool, Timelord! I can’t talk to him however I like!
Deadpool: “To quote a famous David Bowie song…‘Ashes To Ashes’!”
(puzzled) W-w-what do you mean by that, Deadpool? What do you mean?
Deadpool: “Thanos does things by halves!”
With that, Deadpool leaves. Tim, Timelord, Wolfie and Whiskeybrewer are left puzzled and disturbed once Deadpool is gone.
(to Timelord007; Wolfie; Whiskeybrewer) “What do you suppose he meant by that?”
Wolfie: “Maybe this Thanos chap is a bit slaphappy? Er, ah, you know…”
Wolfie clicks fingers repeatedly.
Wolfie: “Clumsy?”
Whiskeybrewer: “Like me around a beautiful woman.” (Pause) “Or any woman for that matter.”
Timelord007: (shrugs) “Eh, I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.” (aside) “I got a bad feeling about this.”
(convinced) Yeah, you’re probably right, Timelord. We shouldn’t let it worry us. We ought to continue with our fun.
Timelord007: (nods; agrees) “Hmmm!”
Alright! After writing four pages of this introduction…
Wolfie: “Surely it must be more than that by now.”
(to Wolfie) Are you always like this?
Wolfie: “Needlessly verbose? Conjugating sesquipedalian garrulity…Agh! Ahh! I sprained my tongue!”
Whiskeybrewer: “Never try and out Jago, Jago Wolfie! You’ll end up sounding like the Architect. All random metaphors and six-form poetry!”
(continues) Anyway, it’s time to get onto watching and reviewing ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ at last!
Wolfie: “Directed by the Russo brothers, bless. I’ve been following their work since ‘The Winter Soldier’! This promises to be good.”
Timelord007: “Part one of a climatic two-part conclusion for Marvel’s most popular characters! (Pause) “Well, unless they pay them a load of money for future movies!”
Whiskeybrewer: “I’ve been waiting for this. Time to get my crossover on! Not like ‘Valiant’ though. Sheesh! Fun was not had by all.”
(happily) Let’s get to it then!
A black sofa appears on the space rock as well as wide cinema screen. Tim, Timelord007, Whiskeybrewer and Wolfie sit on it before they watch/review the movie.
Whiskeybrewer: “How did this sofa appear for us?”
A stick appears in Whiskeybrewer’s hand. He pokes at the sofa with it.
Whiskeybrewer: “This is some ‘Encounter at Farpoint’ craziness, isn’t it?”
(to Whiskeybrewer) In the Divergent Universe, anything is possible!
Wolfie presses a cushion on the sofa.
Wolfie: “The subject behaves as though it has mass and substance. Should be safe enough! I’ve not had a couch try to murder me since the eighteenth century.”
Timelord007: “Couch? That’s the American way to say it! I believe the word you’re looking for is sofa!”
Whiskeybrewer: “My dear Chinlord! You always know what to say.”
(to audience) Please feel free to check out, read and comment on our review for ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ here.
Enjoy!
Stay tuned for my review on the next film in the ‘Marvel Cinematic Universe’ film series, ‘Ant-Man and the Wasp’, coming soon.
Bye for now!
Tim. 🙂
Bradley's Basement 