Day 3 – ‘Bradley’s Basement’s Advent Calendar 2021

Hello everyone! 🙂

Welcome to ‘Bradley’s Basement’ blog and I’m Tim Bradley!

It’s Day 3 of ‘Bradley’s Basement’s Advent Calendar 2021.

It’s time for Chapter 3 of ‘The Lord of the Rings: Comedy Version’ as we continue to go through Part 1 of the story called ‘The Fellowship of the Freak’! 🙂

Enjoy!

Check out what Day 3 of my ‘Bradley’s Basement’s Advent Calendars for 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019 and 2020 were about!

Tim. 🙂


Chapter 3
‘Is there a Signpost to the Prancing Pony in Bree?’

Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin arrive at the west gate of Bree, soaking wet due to the pouring rain.

FRODO: (whispers; to Sam) “Now, Sam. It’s very likely that everyone will be in their beds when we enter Bree…”

PIPPIN: (sings; loudly) ♪ “LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA…”

SAM: “Shut up, will you!”

Sam smacks Pippin on the head.

PIPPIN: (cries in pain) “Ow!!!”

FRODO: (whispers; to Sam) “So whatever you do, don’t make a noise! Everybody might be fast asleep! Pass it on!”

SAM: “Okay.” (whispers; to Pippin) “Don’t make a noise! Everybody might be asleep! Pass it on!”

PIPPIN: “Okay.” (whispers; to Merry) “Don’t make a noise! Everybody might be asleep! Pass it on!”

MERRY: (whispers) “Don’t make…”

Merry is surprised to find no-one behind him. Meanwhile, Frodo knocks on the gate very quietly. A moment of silence ensues.

GATEKEEPER: (ruefully) “I can’t hear you!”

Frustrated, Frodo bangs on the gate very loudly. Sam, Merry and Pippin hush to Frodo, telling him to be quiet. The gatekeeper opens the date to greet the hobbits.

GATEKEEPER: (wearily) “Hello! What do you want? Welcome to Bree! What do you want?”

FRODO: “We’re heading for the Prancing Pony…”

GATEKEEPER: (interrupts) “Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot! Password!”

FRODO: “Err…please?”

GATEKEEPER: “No!”

The gatekeeper shuts the gate in the hobbits’ faces.

SAM: “Frodo! I think I know the password. Say to him, “Let me in, you idiot!””

FRODO: “Okay.”

Frodo knocks on the gate again. The gatekeeper opens it.

GATEKEEPER: “Password?”

FRODO: “Let me in, you idiot!”

GATEKEEPER: “No!”

The gatekeeper shuts the gate again.

SAM: “Not like that! Say, LET ME IN, YOU IDIOT!”

Frodo knocks on the gate again. The gatekeeper opens it.

GATEKEEPER: “Password?”

FRODO: (shouts) “LET ME IN, YOU IDIOT!!!”

Frodo pokes the gatekeeper in the eye.

GATEKEEPER: (cries in pain) “Oww!!!” (normal voice) “Uh-uh!”

The gatekeeper shuts the gate again.

SAM: “Don’t poke him in the eye! Just say, “LET ME IN, YOU IDIOT!”

Frodo knocks on the gate again. The gatekeeper opens it.

GATEKEEPER: “Password?”

FRODO: “LET ME IN, YOU IDIOT!!!”

GATEKEEPER: “Fine!”

With that, the gatekeeper lets them in.


A while later, the four hobbits have food and drink at the Prancing Pony.

FRODO: “I wonder where Gandalf’s gone.”

Pippin drinks out a human pint-sized tankard.

PIPPIN: (heavily drunk) “I don’t know, but this stuff’s good! I’m going to faint right now!”

Pippin slumps his head on the table, snoring away. Sam answers Frodo’s question.

SAM: “I don’t know, Frodo. I don’t know where Gandalf is.”

MERRY: “Err, I think Pippin’s about to throw up.”

Pippin wakes up and vomits heavily into his tankard.

PIPPIN: (heavily drunk) “Oh man! That’s good!”


Very soon, Frodo and the hobbits meet Strider.

STRIDER: “You can no longer wait for the wizard, Frodo. They’re coming!”

SAM: “Who’s coming? My bookie?”

STRIDER: “The Ringwraiths!”

PIPPIN: “Those black riders we saw in the forest?”

STRIDER: “Yes!”


Outside, the gatekeeper receives some unexpected visitors.

GATEKEEPER: “Yes, hello! Password?”

The Ringwraiths come crashing through the gates of Bree, tramping over the gatekeeper underneath the west gate.

GATEKEEPER: (groans) “Wrong password!”

The Ringwraiths gallop their way towards the Prancing Pony.

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