Day 5 – ‘Bradley’s Basement’s Advent Calendar 2021

Hello everyone! 🙂

Welcome to ‘Bradley’s Basement’ blog and I’m Tim Bradley!

It’s Day 5 of ‘Bradley’s Basement’s Advent Calendar 2021.

We’re still in ‘The Fellowship of the Freak’ part of ‘The Lord of the Rings: Comedy Version’, but let’s check out Chapter 5, shall we? 🙂

Enjoy!

Check out what Day 5 of my ‘Bradley’s Basement’s Advent Calendars for 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019 and 2020 were about!

Tim. 🙂


Chapter 5
‘A Journey in the Dark with Gandalf’s Torch Switched On’

In Moria, Frodo and Gandalf notice that Gollum has been following the Fellowship and is watching them with glowing staring eyes. 

GANDALF: “As I told you, Frodo. Gollum has been following and watching us for three days. Especially with those big glowing staring eyes of his. So whatever you do, don’t poke…”

But Frodo pokes Gollum in the eye when he gets a chance. Gollum shrieks once he’s been poked in the eye, before he falls down the stairs.

GANDALF: (tells Frodo off) “Don’t poke him in the eye!”


A short while later, the Fellowship enter a chamber where they find a tomb. 

FRODO: “What is that?”

BOROMIR: “It’s a coffin, you idiot!”

FRODO: “No, I mean, what’s inside it? Who’s inside it, should I say?”

GIMLI: “Let’s find out!”

Gimli opens up the tomb to reveal whose inside.

GIMLI: “Hey, that looks like my cousin!”

BALIN: (from inside the tomb) “I am your cousin!”

GIMLI: (upset) “Oh no! My cousin is dead!”

Gimli sobs away before he ends up snoring away inside Balin’s tomb.


Meanwhile, Gandalf goes over to pick up a large and battered book from a skeleton in the chamber.

GANDALF: (to skeleton) “Don’t you mind if I have a look at this, do you?”

SKELETON: “Yeah, go ahead. I’m not going to be using it.”

GANDALF: “How did you end up like that?”

SKELETON: “Aww, I got stabbed and slashed by orcs. It was very painful, I can tell you.”

Gandalf acknowledges the skeleton, before he opens the book and clears the dirt from the pages.


After Pippin has his accident with sending an armoured skeleton and a bucket tumbling down a deep well… 

GANDALF: (bitterly) “Somewhere…an electric chair is waiting!”

PIPPIN: “Huh?”

GANDALF: (bitterly) “Fool of a Took!”


At the Bridge of Khazad-dûm, Gandalf is about to face the Balrog. He turns to the Fellowship.

GANDALF: “Stay back, everyone! I will deal with this one!”

FRODO: “No, Gandalf! I’m going to come with you!”

GANDALF: “You want to come with me to face against him?”

FRODO: “Yeah!”

Gandalf rolls his eyes.

GANDALF: “I don’t believe this!” (to Frodo) “Go and join the others and stay with them! And if I should happen to die, please don’t scream and cry like a baby, alright?”

Frodo nods and obeys.

GANDALF: “Right!”

Gandalf makes his way over to confront the Balrog.

GANDALF: “Now, you look here, you big, scary, burning thing.”

The Balrog snarls at him.

GANDALF: (sniffs) “You smell!”

The Balrog roars angrily.

GANDALF: “You cannot…pass!”

With that, the Balrog strikes his flaming sword down on Gandalf. Gandalf parries the blow with his sword Glamdring, shattering the Balrog’s sword.

BALROG: (shocked; upset) “My sword! My mother gave that to me for my birthday when I was three years old!”

GANDALF: “Well, well, well. You shouldn’t have followed us then! Now…YOU…SHALL NOT….”

A moment of silence ensues. Gandalf becomes forgetful.

BALROG: “Pass?”

GANDALF: “Yeah, PASS!!!”

With that, Gandalf strikes his staff onto the bridge. As the Balrog steps forward, the bridge collapses from under it. The Balrog plunges backwards into the chasm. Gandalf turns to Frodo and the others.

GANDALF: “There you are, you see, Frodo. I did not…die!”

Suddenly, the Balrog’s flaming whip lashes up from the depths of the abyss and wraps around Gandalf’s ankle, dragging him over the edge.

GANDALF: “Wahoo, oh ouch!!!”

As Gandalf clings onto the bridge, Frodo runs forward before Boromir restrains him.

FRODO: (screams) “Gandalf! Gandalf!”

GANDALF: “Frodo, I told you! I told you not to scream and cry like a baby should I die, okay? Just say, “Oh dear, he’s dead!” once you see me fall. Do you promise?”

Reluctantly, Frodo nods his head.

GANDALF: (satisfied) “Right!” (Pause) “Now…AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”

With that final scream, Gandalf loses his grip and falls into the chasm. A moment of silence ensues.

BOROMIR: “Now remember you what you promised, Frodo. Don’t scream or cry like a baby. Just say what Gandalf told you to say.”

Another moment of silence ensues.

FRODO: (calmly) “For Gandalf’s promise, I say “Oh dear, he’s dead.” (Pause) “For my promise, I say…” (screams; cries; upset) “AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! GANDALF!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!! GANDALF!!!!!!”

With Frodo screaming and crying away like a baby, Boromir drags Frodo off out of Khazad-dûm. Aragorn follows behind them.

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