Day 11 – ‘Bradley’s Basement’s Advent Calendar 2021

Hello everyone! 🙂

Welcome to ‘Bradley’s Basement’ blog and I’m Tim Bradley!

It’s Day 11 of ‘Bradley’s Basement’s Advent Calendar 2021.

It’s time for Chapter 11 of ‘The Lord of the Rings: Comedy Version’. What characters are we going to be in this chapter as part of ‘The Two Twits’ segment of the story? Let’s find out! 🙂

Enjoy!

Check out what Day 11 of my ‘Bradley’s Basement’s Advent Calendars for 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019 and 2020 were about!

Tim. 🙂


Chapter 11
‘Surely Treebeard is a Walking Talking Tree’

Merry and Pippin run into Fangorn Forest after being chased by the orc called Grishnákh.

PIPPIN: “Did we lose him?”

MERRY: “I think we lost him.”

Just then, they see Grishnákh appear from behind the trees, brandishing his sword. He doesn’t see the hobbits yet however.

MERRY: (whispers) “Now whatever you do, Pippin, don’t make a sound. The moment you make a noise, he’ll see us in an instant. Do you understand?”

PIPPIN: (out loud) “That’s absolutely fine!”

Merry hushes Pippin, but it’s too late. Grishnákh sees them.

MERRY: (annoyed) “Oh now you’ve done it!”

GRISHNÁKH: “I’m gonna rip out your filthy little innards!”

MERRY: “Come on, over here!”

Merry and Pippin soon run for it with Grishnákh chasing them.


After being rescued by Treebeard from Grishnákh, the Ent suspects that Merry and Pippin are orcs.

MERRY: “We’re not orcs! We’re hobbits!”

TREEBEARD: “Hobbits? Hmm!”

Treebeard then inhales deeply and sucks Merry and Pippin into his nostrils. Merry and Pippin cry out loud inside Treebeard’s nostrils. They soon come out, covered in Treebeard’s snot as he holds them in his hands.

TREEBEARD: (continues) “Never heard of a hobbit before.”


A few days later, Merry and Pippin are in Treebeard’s protection. He takes them into the heart of Fangorn Forest, as they come to a clearing and stop.

TREEBEARD: “We Ents have not been troubled about the wars of men and wizards…for a long time…a long time…”

Treebeard then lets out a huge yawn inside the forest, getting on the hobbits’ nerves.

MERRY: “Yeah, come on! Just get on with it!”

TREEBEARD: “I am…getting on with it!” (Pause; continues) “Something is about to happen…that has not happened…for an age! Entmoot!”

MERRY: “What’s that?”

TREEBEARD: “It’s a meeting!”

MERRY: “Meeting?”

Very soon, more Ents like Treebeard gather in the clearing. They gather round and look closely at Merry and Pippin.

PIPPIN: (disgusted) “Ugh, they’re looking at me! Ugh, one’s got a twig in his nose!”

Pippin pulls the twig out of the Ent’s nose, to which he reacts in pain.

TREEBEARD: (tells off) “Don’t do that!” (Pause) “Now, we must decide if the Ents will go to war.”

MERRY: “One of the Ents is looking at me very deeply.”

Gradually, Merry ends up poking the Ent in the eye, to which he reacts in pain.

TREEBEARD: (tells off) “Don’t poke him in the eye!”

MERRY: “Sorry.”

TREEBEARD: (gradually) “You two climb off whilst we Ents say “Hello” to each other.”

Merry and Pippin climb off Treebeard as instructed.

PIPPIN: “How long will it take for you to say “Hello” to each other?”

TREEBEARD: “Half an hour.”

PIPPIN: “Half an hour?!”

MERRY: “That’ll mean it’ll be night-time by the time you’ve finished.”

TREEBEARD: “Yes.” (gradually; slowly; to Ent) “HELLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

A moment of silence ensues.

PIPPIN: “Now it’s his turn.”

The other Ent says “Hello” back.

ENT: (slowly) “HELLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

This takes longer than Merry and Pippin anticipated.

PIPPIN: “Let’s go to sleep.”

And very soon, Merry and Pippin end up falling asleep, snoring as they do so.

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