Day 14 – ‘Bradley’s Basement’s Advent Calendar 2021

Hello everyone! 🙂

Welcome to ‘Bradley’s Basement’ blog and I’m Tim Bradley!

It’s Day 14 of ‘Bradley’s Basement’s Advent Calendar 2021.

It’s time to check out Chapter 14 of ‘The Lord of the Rings: Comedy Version’! Whose story are we going to follow in this instalment of ‘The Two Twits’ segment of the story today? Let’s find out! 🙂

Enjoy!

Check out what Day 14 of my ‘Bradley’s Basement’s Advent Calendars for 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019 and 2020 were about!

Tim. 🙂


Chapter 14
‘At Helm’s Deep, Éowyn Reacts to Aragorn’s ‘Death”

At Helm’s Deep, Éowyn rushes down to meet with Théoden and company who have returned from their battle with the warg riders. Éowyn looks about.

ÉOWYN: “So few! So few of you have returned!”

At that moment, more riders turn up.

ÉOWYN: “Okay, more of you.”

Then a few more…

ÉOWYN: “Okay, a lot of you.”

Then another lot…

ÉOWYN: “Okay, can we just say that there are more of you to come, right?”

Théoden dismounts from his horse.

THÉODEN: “Our people are safe. We have paid for it with many lives.”

ÉOWYN: “Err, where’s Legolas?”

LEGOLAS: “I’m up here!”

ÉOWYN: “Where’s Gimli?”

GIMLI: “I’m standing right in front of you!”

ÉOWYN: “Oh sorry! Um, where’s…?”

GIMLI: “Aragorn?”

ÉOWYN: “That’s him, yes.”

GIMLI: “Well, how can I put this? Um, he fell.”

ÉOWYN: “Oh dear. Did he fall down the stairs or something?”

GIMLI: “Off a cliff.”

ÉOWYN: “Oh. So he’s bound to have a bad injury.”

GIMLI: “Yes. Quite.”

ÉOWYN: “Oh.”

At first, Éowyn seems to be taking it rather well. But then…

ÉOWYN: (coughs) “I think I’m going to be sick!”

Éowyn vomits to one side. She then looks at Théoden.

ÉOWYN: “Is this true, uncle?”

Théoden gives a look at Éowyn. Then he walks away.

ÉOWYN: (shrugs) “Ah well. Life must go on.”


Meanwhile, at the Helm’s Deep battlements…

THÉODEN: “So, you soldiers know what you have to do, don’t you?”

GAMLING: (puzzled) “No?”

THÉODEN: (baffled) “Guard the wall!”

GAMLING: “Which one? There are loads of walls.”

THÉODEN: (exasperated) “Oh just…just guard this wall in particular, will you?!”


Gamling soon asks Théoden questions about the boys to fight at Helm’s Deep.

GAMLING: “We can’t ask any Rohan boy under seven to fight…”

THÉODEN: (exasperated) “Alright then, look just…LOOK! EVERY SON OF ROHAN WHO’S ABOVE SEVEN GETS TO FIGHT! ANY SON OF ROHAN UNDER 7…DOESN’T! THEY CAN GO WITH THEIR MOTHERS OR SOMETHING!”

GAMLING: “What about that old man over there, sire? Should we let him fight?”

THÉODEN: “Err…no, there’s no point. Look at him. He can’t even lift a sword.”

This is proven as the old man struggles to lift a sword from the ground and eventually drops it.


Meanwhile, Aragorn, who’s still alive and riding on the horse called Brego, sees the army of Uruk-Hai unleashed from Isengard making its way to Helm’s Deep.

ARAGORN: “Okay. Let’s see and count. Err…one, two, three, four, five, six…”

After counting every Uruk-Hai in the army approaching Helm’s Deep, Aragorn soon comes up with his final calculation.

ARAGORN: (shocked) “Ten thousand! And I counted correctly!”

With that, Aragorn rides for Helm’s Deep.


At Helm’s Deep, Éowyn sees Aragorn with Legolas.

ÉOWYN: (gasps) “Aragorn! He’s alive! Great! I’ll tell him to marry me and then…”

But Éowyn then sees Legolas give Aragorn the Evenstar, the gift to him from Arwen of Rivendell.

ÉOWYN: (moans) “Oh yeah! I forgot! He’s got a girlfriend! How nice for him! He’s lucky and he’s got a girlfriend!”

Éowyn goes to sulk off somewhere.


A short while later, Aragorn struggles to push open the doors to Théoden’s throne room at Helm’s Deep. After pushing a couple of times, Aragorn manages to push his way through the doors, but ends up on the floor in the process. Théoden looks down on him.

THÉODEN: “You could have come in instead of bashing down my doors.”

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