‘Chieftain’s Caves’, Part One, Chapter 4

billy-walker-tim-bradley

4. The Battles of Falkirk

SCENE #36 – INT – DUNGEONS, EILEAN DONAN CASTLE – DAY, EVENING

NYSSA
(impatiently) “Doctor, how much longer are you going to be? You’ve used my brooch and have been at that lock for half-an-hour!”

DOCTOR
(surprised) “Really? I thought it was fifteen minutes!”

NYSSA
(impatiently) “Doctor!”

DOCTOR
“Nearly there, Nyssa! I’m nearly there!” (Pause) “Got it!”

Thinking he’s managed to break the door lock, the Doctor however breaks Nyssa’s brooch.

DOCTOR
“Ah! No I haven’t.”

NYSSA
(slightly annoyed) “You’ve damaged my brooch, Doctor! That’s the second out of fifteen of my Traken brooches you’ve broken so far!”

DOCTOR
(apologetic) “Sorry, Nyssa! And I was so close!” (Pause) “Here’s your brooch back!”

The Doctor hands the damaged brooch back to Nyssa to which she takes, disappointed.

NYSSA
“Here! Let me try opening the door!”

DOCTOR
(ruefully) “You can’t open a door like that, Nyssa! What are you going to use?”

NYSSA
(shows off) “These!”

DOCTOR
“You can’t use your bare hands to open that door!”

NYSSA
“Can’t I?”

With that, Nyssa pushes hard at the door with her bare hands. It eventually opens, creaking as it does so.

NYSSA
“I say it was logically simple!”

DOCTOR
(disgruntled) “Yes…well…I had a hand in that! Your brooch eased the way for you!”

NYSSA
(coyly) “Exactly! My brooch!”

DOCTOR
(disgruntled) “Shall we leave?”

NYSSA
“Be my guest, Doctor!”

The Doctor and Nyssa make to leave the dungeons. But before they can go any further, they get caught by some guards.

NYSSA
(realises) “Oh no!”

DOCTOR
“Guards!”

The chief guard Stevie steps forward to face them.

STEVIE
(challengingly) “Alright you two! Don’t ye move a muscle!” (Pause) “How did you two get out?! Who broke the lock?”

DOCTOR/NYSSA
“I did it!”/”I did it!” (Pause) “She did it!”/”He did it!”

Moment of silence.

DOCTOR
“Allow me to explain!”

STEVIE
(barks) “Silence!”

DOCTOR
“Just as you say!”

STEVIE
(barks; to guards) “Take them up!”

The Doctor and Nyssa are then forced roughly up the stairs as they get taken away by the guards from the dungeons.


SCENE #37 – INT – MAIN HALL, EILEAN DONAN CASTLE– DAY, EVENING
Minutes later, the Doctor and Nyssa are escorted by the guards into the main hall, having left the dungeons behind them. The guards manhandle the Doctor and Nyssa roughly as they escort them.

DOCTOR
(agitated) “Unhand me at once! I hate being pushed around!”

NYSSA
“Where are you taking us? Let us go please! You’re hurting my arm!”

Just then, Maggie MacDonald enters.

MAGGIE
(calls) “Stevie! Unhand them! They need not be treated this way!”

STEVIE
(protests) “But we found them both escaping…!”

MAGGIE
(firmly) “I said unhand them, Stevie!”

STEVIE
(reluctantly) “Yes madam.”

Stevie and the guards eventually release Nyssa and the Doctor.

DOCTOR
(cheerily) “Thank you! Mrs. MacDonald, I presume.”

MAGGIE
“I’m speaking on my husband’s behalf.”

DOCTOR
“Really? I don’t wish to complain but I’d rather like to point out…”

MAGGIE
(interrupts) “You are both invited to supper! We wish to rectify the damage we caused you when my husband took you both prisoners!”

DOCTOR
“We have been seriously mistreated…”

NYSSA
(interjects; to Doctor) “Please, Doctor! Let’s accept their kind invitation to supper. The sooner we’ve sorted matters out, the sooner we can find Billy!”

DOCTOR
“But Nyssa, don’t you see…?”

NYSSA
(interjects) “Please, Doctor!”

Moment of silence.

DOCTOR
(sighs) “Very well.” (to Maggie) “We accept your kind invitation, Mrs. MacDonald!”

NYSSA
(to Maggie) “Will it just be you and your husband joining us, Mrs. MacDonald?”

MAGGIE
“My husband and I will attend as will Lord Killwhilie and Mr. Ches of Roid!” (to Stevie) “Stevie! Take them to the banqueting hall and have them wait.”

STEVIE
“Yes, madam.”

MAGGIE
“I’ll meet them with my husband shortly.”

The guards comply as they escort the Doctor and Nyssa to the banqueting hall.

DOCTOR
(cheerfully) “Thank you for escorting us, Mr. Stevie!”

STEVIE
(bitterly) “Move it, Sassenach!”

Stevie pushes the Doctor and Nyssa roughly about.

DOCTOR
“And kindly stop pushing us!”

Despite the Doctor’s protests, they still get pushed about as they’re escorted to the banqueting hall. They talk quietly as they go.

NYSSA
(quietly; apprehensive) “I hope the food will taste alright. I hope it won’t be poisoned.”

DOCTOR
(quietly) “If they wanted to poison us Nyssa, they would have done it already!”

Meanwhile, Maggie stands about in the hall until Toker the butler turns up.

MAGGIE
“Ah! Toker!”

Maggie goes over to meet him. Toker bows courteously.

TOKER
“Yes, madam.”

MAGGIE
“Could you inform the servants in the kitchen that dinner will be served shortly in fifteen minutes?”

TOKER
“I’ll attend to it, madam.”

MAGGIE
“And see to it that the pipers are at the ready, Toker!”

TOKER
“Very good, madam.”

Toker leaves whilst Maggie goes off to find her husband.


SCENE #38 – EXT – GLEN SHIEL, SCOTLAND – DAY, EVENING
Meanwhile with Billy and Cari, they walk on the moors of Glen Shiel as they head back to Eilean Donan Castle.

CARI
“Well, I enjoyed meeting those two men! They were so hospitable!”

BILLY
“Yes, they’re not that bad.” (Pause) “One wonders how they’re going to manage to survive out there in that forest and on the moors! If they say this…Henry MacDonald…doesn’t like hikers or campers, then they’ll be in for trouble if they’re caught.”

CARI
(determined) “I’m sure determined to get back to Racta to inform some members of the council about the current situation in Scotland! Mr. Macmillan and Mr. Buchanan were happy for me to pass on the news about what they’re doing! I hope something good will come out of it!”

BILLY
“Yes, I’m sure it will.”

CARI
(cheerily) “Hey! Thank you for escorting me, Billy. You’re such a gentleman!”

BILLY
“That’s alright. When we get back to this castle of yours, I hope to ask about my missing friends!”

CARI
“This…Nassa?”

BILLY
(corrects) “Nyssa.”

CARI
“Sorry…Nyssa. This Nyssa friend of yours? Is she your girlfriend?”

BILLY
(hesitantly) “Well…yes! She is my girlfriend! We became a couple recently” (Pause) “Um…please don’t tell the Doctor that Nyssa and I are…well…together. We, Nyssa and I, agreed to keep it a secret.”

CARI
“Oh, of course! How exciting! But why should you wish to…?”

BILLY
(interrupts; hushes) “Ssh!”

CARI
(confused) “What? Have I said something?”

BILLY
(hushes) “Ssh! Quiet! I thought I heard something!”

CARI
(gradually; puzzled) “What? I didn’t hear anything!”

BILLY
(urgently) “Get down!”

CARI
“Pardon?”

BILLY
(urgently) “Get down! Behind that foliage now!”

Billy and Cari get down behind some foliage as they look up to see an army approaching on the moors. They see the army march off in a far-off direction.

CARI
(astonished) “I see…I see soldiers! Hundreds of soldiers!”

BILLY
(intrigued) “No! It must be thousands! They’re all marching off in a north-easterly direction! See! They have peculiar clothes!”

CARI
(realises) “They’re Scots! I can see them now! See their kilts and caps!” (Pause) “They’re Jacobeans!”

BILLY
(puzzled) “Jacobeans?”

CARI
“They fought in the uprising against the English government in the eighteenth century! Fought in the Culloden battle, they did!”

BILLY
(baffled) “But the Culloden battle was…seventeen something or other! They can’t be here now in…what is it?”

CARI
“We must get away from here! Before they see us! Come on!”

Billy and Cari are about to move off, before they get caught by some Scots led by Alistair and Ewan. They train their swords at Billy and Cari.

EWAN
“Halt! Hold it right there, you two!”

Moment of silence.

BILLY
“Uh…I hate to say this, but I fear we’ve been caught!”

CARI
“I’m afraid you’re right, Billy.”

ALISTAIR
“Well, well, well. What do we have here?”

EWAN
“They don’t dress like Redcoats, Alistair!”

ALISTAIR
“That is a matter of opinion, Ewan!”

Alistair raises his sword and places it under Billy’s throat. Billy gulps once the blade’s pointed at his throat.

ALISTAIR
(threateningly; to Billy) “You! Are you and she fighting for Scotland!”

BILLY
(gulps) “Yes! Yes we are! No question about it! If you could…put your sword away…we can talk things out!”

Bagpipe music is then played as it echoes in the distance.

EWAN
“That’s our cue, Alistair! The army’s advancing!”

ALISTAIR
“We’ll have to take these two with us! Put them under constant guard!”

EWAN
“Aye!” (to Jacobeans) “You lot! Take hold of them!”

Some of the Jacobean Scots step forward and grab hold of Billy and Cari by the shoulders. They make them walk forward.

BILLY
(cries; protests) “Here! Let go! You’re hurting my shoulders!”

CARI
(protests) “Who are you and where are we going?!”

EWAN
“We’re off to a battle! For Scottish freedom!”

CARI
(protests) “Battle? I don’t want to be in a battle! I just had a cup of tea with two charming gentlemen! I’ve got to get back to Eilean Donan Castle to see my husband!”

ALISTAIR
“There’s no turning back for the faint hearted! A man’s got to earn his kill!”

With that, Billy and Cari are forced to walk on. They with Alistair and Ewan join the Jacobean Scottish army as they walk off down the moor lands.


SCENE #39 – INT – BANQUETING HALL, EILEAN DONAN CASTLE – DAY, EVENING
In the banqueting hall of Eilean Donan Castle, the Doctor and Nyssa wait as they expect the MacDonalds and the other guests to turn up. They’ve been waiting for a while as Nyssa paces about the room impatiently. The Doctor meanwhile stands about looking at some paintings on a wall in the banqueting hall.

DOCTOR
(muses) “Monarch of the glen! The great stag! By old Sir Edwin Landseer! Fine oily texture here!”

The Doctor then goes over to look out of the window.

DOCTOR
“Dusk is approaching. The day is almost over!”

NYSSA
(anxiously) “I feel as if we’ve been here for hours!”

DOCTOR
“Yes. Does tend to feel like that. I suppose when clock-watching, it does go rather slowly.”

NYSSA
“I’m not saying I’ve been looking at the clock all the time, Doctor.” (Pause) “Do you think they’re doing this deliberately? To keep us waiting in the banqueting hall? They may have something in store for us and are intent on killing us!”

DOCTOR
“Now come on, Nyssa! The Scots aren’t hostile! A little spirited and forthright, but not violent!”

NYSSA
“I’m just thinking of all the possibilities! It’s my nature to rule things out!” (Pause) “That man who accused us of hiking. Perhaps he’s not too keen on entertaining us for supper! His wife may have put him up to it to please us!”

DOCTOR
(intrigued) “Yes, it was rather odd that he should accuse us of hiking without valid evidence.” (Pause) “We’ll give them five more minutes and then we’ll make enquiries.”

NYSSA
“They could have locked the doors!”

DOCTOR
“I don’t think so. They wouldn’t lock us in here if they were intent on entertaining us!”

Moment of silence.

NYSSA
“Weren’t the Scottish belligerent at one time, Doctor?”

DOCTOR
“Oh many occasions occurred when the Scots became savage! The wars of Scottish independence had some gory episodes! But to me, this period of Scottish history… say late twentieth century or even early twenty-first century …is not as violent during this time period as it was back then.”

NYSSA
“That man who captured us!”

DOCTOR
(corrects) “The laird, Nyssa! He’s called the laird! The laird of this castle! The laird of MacDonald!”

NYSSA
“The laird then. He seems to be set on ideals from long past! He had the attitude and behaviour of someone who preferred old ways and not new ones!”

DOCTOR
“Probably came from the nineteen forties, I expect.” (Pause; muses) “Or the dark ages.”

Just then, bagpipes music gets played as it echoes from outside the banqueting hall door at a distance.

NYSSA
(startled) “Doctor! That music!”

DOCTOR
“Bagpipes!”

NYSSA
(puzzled) “I beg your pardon?”

DOCTOR
“Bagpipes, Nyssa! Dinner is being served!”

The Doctor and Nyssa stand by their chairs at the table, as the banqueting hall doors open inwards and and a number of pipers playing their bagpipes enter. The pipers precede a gathering as Henry MacDonald and his wife Maggie walk hand-in-hand together. They’re followed by Ches of Roid; Hugo Kilwhillie and a number of kitchen staff who bring in the main course and buffet delicacies for the evening meal. Henry; Maggie and the others stand by their chairs at the table, before the pipers eventually stop playing their bagpipes. Moment of silence ensues.

MAGGIE
(graciously) “Welcome, you two! Welcome! Thank you for joining us for dinner! We’re so glad you were able to join!”

DOCTOR
“We didn’t seem to have a choice in the matter, Mrs. MacDonald.”

Henry grunts at this.

NYSSA
(interjects) “But thank you all the same, Mrs. MacDonald! We really appreciate it!”

MAGGIE
“You’ve met my husband of course!” (to Henry) “Henry dear, this is…?”

NYSSA
(interjects) “I’m Nyssa and this is the Doctor!”

DOCTOR
(graciously) “How do you do, Mr. MacDonald? We didn’t say ‘hello’ or shake hands properly, did we?!”

HENRY
(sharply) “I do not wish to know their names or who they are, Maggie! I know their countenances well enough to know what they did on my land!”

NYSSA
(quietly; to Doctor) “It seems I was wrong about Mrs. MacDonald changing her husband’s mind, Doctor.”

Another moment of silence.

MAGGIE
(grandly) “Allow me to introduce Mr. Ches of Roid from the Racta Alliance and Hugo, Lord of Kilwhillie.”

DOCTOR
(cheerfully) “How do you do?”

NYSSA
“Yes! Very nice to meet you both!”

CHES
“Pleased to meet you two, I’m sure.”

DOCTOR
(surprised) “From the Racta Alliance, are you? Long way from home, aren’t you?”

CHES
“Yes! And you and your friend are hikers! How fascinating and exciting!”

MAGGIE
“Please everyone! Sit down!”

With that, everyone sits down in their chairs at the dining table.

MAGGIE
“Our son Jeremy is usually here at dinner! He will come shortly!”

HENRY
(mutters) “Late. As usual.”

NYSSA
“Oh! Well, we look forward to seeing your son, Mrs. MacDonald!”

MAGGIE
“Yes, I’m sure.” (Pause) “Chef’s prepared a good meal for us! I hope you’ll like it.”

DOCTOR
“How could we not? Hey, Nyssa?”

NYSSA
“Hmm.”

Another moment of silence, as an uneasy atmosphere ensues in the banqueting hall.

MAGGIE
(to Nyssa) “Care for some wine, young lady?”


SCENE #40 – INT – DINING ROOM, CAWDOR CASTLE – DAY, EVENING
Meanwhile, in the dining room of Cawdor Castle, Gussie Mackintosh and his wife Lucy have dinner quietly together. An uneasy atmosphere ensues in the dining room.

LUCY
(anxiously) “It’s evening already and she hasn’t come back yet! Where is she?!”

GUSSIE
(frustrated) “I’ve had it up to here with the MacDonalds, Lucy! Just because we own this castle, they think they can get their son to get hitched with our daughter!” (Pause) “I’m going to go over to their little castle and have a few words with them!”

LUCY
“Gussie, what will you say to them?”

At that moment, the door opens as Iona enters the dining room.

LUCY
(astonished) “Iona!”

IONA
(surprised) “Mother; father? I thought you were…”

Lucy then stands up from her chair and runs from the dining table over to Iona.

LUCY
(overjoyed) “Oh, Iona! Thank the Lord you came home to us!”

Lucy embraces Iona and holds her face, kissing her all over.

LUCY
“We were so worried about you, Iona! We thought you’d got killed by ruffians; fallen down a waterfall or got fenced in by stags!”

Gussie then stands up from his chair and makes his way over to Lucy and Iona, away from the dining table.

GUSSIE
(sharply; to Iona) “Where have you been, girl? How dare you stay out late at this hour?!”

IONA
“Wherever I have been I am back, Father! It’s only evening and I can stay out as long as I like!”

GUSSIE
(sharply) “You know our feud with the MacDonalds all too well, Iona! You can’t be out there on your own treading the perils!”

LUCY
(anxiously; to Iona) “It’s too dangerous, dear! The pipes perform at this hour and the battle will have begun by now!”

GUSSIE
(sharply) “So tell us, girl! Tell us where you’ve been!”

IONA
(agitated) “I don’t have to tell you about my personal affairs, Father! I’m not a child! You can’t stop me going out on the moors!”

LUCY
(anxiously) “We thought we’d lost you when we were at Laggan! We thought you’d been captured by those horrid MacDonalds! Our father had a row with the laird of MacDonald himself today! It was so ghastly!”

IONA
(protests) “They’re not horrid, the MacDonalds! They’re nice people when you get to know them!”

LUCY
“I don’t want to know them, thank you very much!”

IONA
(dismissively) “Mother!”

GUSSIE
(sharply) “You’ve been out with that young MacDonald lad, haven’t you?! Jeremy, isn’t it?!”

IONA
(defiantly) “What if I have?! At least he pays attention to me!”

GUSSIE
(angrily) “Go up to your room, girl! Go and think of what you’ve done!”

IONA
(defiantly) “I’m going, Father! But I’m going because I want to! Not because you order me to! At least I can get away from that craggy stuck-up, prig face of yours!”

GUSSIE
(shouts; angrily) “Go! Go up to your room! Now!”

Iona leaves as she heads out through the dining room door.

GUSSIE
(shouts) “And there’ll be no dinner for you tonight! Your mum and I had it all!”

IONA
(calls; from a distance) “Thanks but I’ve bought some sandwiches!”

Gussie gets annoyed as he slams his fist onto the dining table.

GUSSIE
(annoyed) “What is it with these children?!”

LUCY
“It’s you she takes after!”

GUSSIE
(admonishingly) “I haven’t intermingled with a MacDonald at all in my life, my dear!”

LUCY
“No! You haven’t!”

GUSSIE
(satisfied) “Good!”

LUCY
“But you have intermingled with a MacDougal!”

GUSSIE
(astounded) “What?”

LUCY
“And married her!”


SCENE #41 – INT – BANQUETING HALL, EILEAN DONAN CASTLE – DAY, EVENING
Back in the banqueting hall of Eilean Donan Castle, the Doctor and Nyssa have dinner with Henry, Maggie, Ches and Hugo. Henry remains suspicious of the Doctor and Nyssa whilst Maggie, Ches and Hugo are hospitable and generous.

MAGGIE
“Enjoying your fish course, Doctor?”

DOCTOR
“Oh yes! It certainly substitutes well from the venison!”

Henry grunts.

HUGO
(to Nyssa) “Some more wine, lass?”

NYSSA
“No thank you, Lord Kilwhillie. I’ve had quite enough wine!”

HENRY
(challengingly) “Perhaps you fancy some Scottish malt, Doctor? Would you like some?”

DOCTOR
“No thank you, Mr. MacDonald. I’m okay with lemonade. I don’t drink alcohol that much.”

CHES
“I apologise to everyone for my wife not being present! She should have returned by now for it is late!”

HUGO
“Indeed! I would have liked to have talked to you both about purchasing some of my property!”

MAGGIE
“We have search parties already on the lookout for your wife, Mr. Roid! I’m sure they’ll find her!”

DOCTOR
(to Ches) “Perhaps your wife may have found a friend of ours, Mr. Roid! A boy about Nyssa’s age!”

NYSSA
“His name’s Billy. We were looking for. [him..”]

HENRY
(interrupts; challengingly) “What family clan do you belong to, Doctor?! I have not heard you say your clan’s name!”

DOCTOR
(grudgingly) “MacSmith! I come from the mighty clan of MacSmith!”

HENRY
(unconvinced) “Really.” (Pause) “And how come you wish not to eat venison among us Scots, MacSmith? Do you not take pride in eating a Scottish delicacy as venison?”

DOCTOR
“Apparently there’s a law against eating deer in the Bible, Mr. MacDonald.”

HENRY
“Is there?”

DOCTOR
“Yes! Somewhere in Leviticus, I believe! Or is it Numbers? Or Deuteronomy?”

HENRY
(challengingly; to Nyssa) “What family clan do you come from, girl?”

MAGGIE
(scolds) “Henry! Must you be so rude?”

NYSSA
“I’m a Lady of Traken, Mr. MacDonald! I don’t belong to a Scottish clan! For I’m not Scottish!”

HENRY
(bitterly; to Nyssa) “You’re right! You’re down well right you’re not Scottish, girl!” (to Doctor) “And neither are you sir, Doctor! You don’t fool me! There’s no clan under the name of MacSmith! You made that up!”

DOCTOR
(wryly) “Really! I wondered how long it would take you to figure out that one, Chief MacDonald!”

HENRY
“Don’t you ‘Chief MacDonald’ with me, Sassenach!”

MAGGIE
(to Doctor; Nyssa) “You must forgive my husband, Doctor; Miss Nyssa. He can be quite [excitable…”]

HENRY
(interjects; accusingly; to Doctor; Nyssa) “You two are hikers as I suspected!”

NYSSA
“What if we are?! Just because we’re not Scottish, it doesn’t mean we’ve come to ruin your crops or destroy your lands! We’re not evil!”

HENRY
(accusingly) “You disgrace Scottish society! You’re not welcome in these parts!”

CHES
“Does that include me then, Henry?!”

HENRY
“You are an exception, Roid! At least your wife is!”

DOCTOR
(agitated) “So what are you planning to do with us, Mr. MacDonald? Lock us up in those dungeons again or have us out on the fields and shoot me or Nyssa on the spot?”

NYSSA
(horrified) “That’s barbaric!”

HENRY
“It may be barbaric! But it’s the way of a free Scotsman!”

MAGGIE
(scolds) “Really, Henry! Now is not the time! Not at the dining room table!”

HENRY
(interjects; boldly) “Wallace! He was a true Scotsman! And free as well!”

NYSSA
(puzzled) “Wallace?”

DOCTOR
“I believe Mr. MacDonald is referring to William Wallace!” (to Henry) “Am I right?”

HENRY
(continues; proudly) “He fought for Scottish freedom when it was ruled by the English! He and his men were determined to fight for what they wanted by going to extremities!”

MAGGIE
(scolds) “Henry, stop it!”

HENRY
(continues; proudly) “They showed no mercy to English! That’s what they did! They – Wallace and his men – were on the battlefields of Stirling and Bannockburn and they fought the English! Swords and spears were used to chop people’s heads off! Blood and gore! Heads of the English chopped off by the Scots, left; right and centre! BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!”

DOCTOR
(concerned) “Are you alright, Nyssa? You seem to have gone pale!”

NYSSA
(queasily) “I feel nauseous, that’s all.” (Pause; reassuringly) “I’ll be alright, Doctor.”

DOCTOR
(angrily; to Henry) “Do you have to speak of war so graphically in front of my friend like this, Mr. MacDonald?! Especially after the fish we’ve just had!”

Just then, the dining room door opens and Jeremy enters.

MAGGIE
(startled) “Jeremy! You’ve come back! Where have you been?!”

JEREMY
(feebly) “Apologies, Mother! I was at that post office longer than I thought!”

HENRY
(angrily) “You don’t fool me, Jeremy boy! You went out to see that Mackintosh girl, didn’t you! Didn’t you?!”

JEREMY
“And what if I did, Father?”

HENRY
“You know very well our feuds [with…”]

JEREMY
(frustrated) “Please, Father! Don’t go over that again!”

DOCTOR
(interrupts) “Your son I presume, Mr. MacDonald.”

JEREMY
(realises) “I see we have new faces at Eilean Donan! I’m very pleased to meet you…” (stops; realises; astonished) “Wait a minute! I’ve seen you two before!”

DOCTOR
(surprised) “Have you?”

JEREMY
“Yes! You were out on the moors!”

HENRY
(admonishingly) “Pleased?! How can you be pleased to meet them, Jeremy?! They’re hikers!”

JEREMY
“Hikers?! Well…that makes a change!”

MAGGIE
“Where did you say you saw them, son dear?”

JEREMY
“Out on the moors, I said! They were…they seemed to be lost! They came out of some blue box…that said police on the top!”

NYSSA
“That would be the TARDIS! The Doctor’s ship!”

HENRY
(astonished) “You mean to say that you Jeremy saw these two coming up from the shore?!”

JEREMY
“I saw them walking on the moors! They were looking for something! Iona and I followed them and…” (stops; realises) “Oh.”

HENRY
(sharply) “I KNEW IT! You did meet that Mackintosh girl! I shall talk to you later, boy!”

Just then, bagpipe music gets played as it echoes all over the castle.

NYSSA
(realises) “Doctor! That music! It’s playing again!”

DOCTOR
“Yes, Nyssa! I hear it!”

HENRY
(knowingly) “Ah! The signal of the Proud Piper! Another battle for Scottish freedom begins again!”

MAGGIE
(annoyed) “Do they have to play them now? At this time of the night?”

DOCTOR
(intrigued) “Excuse me, Mr. MacDonald? What is this battle that you speak of?”

HENRY
(shrewdly) “Perhaps you should come and see it for yourself, Doctor! And you …’little girl’! You should both see the heritage and honour of true Scotsmen fighting for freedom!” (to Ches; Hugo) “Coming, Roid; Hugo?”

HUGO
(enthused) “Of course! Wouldn’t miss it, Henry!”

CHES
(enthused) “Rather! I always love seeing you Scots fighting it out!”

MAGGIE
(sighs) “Let’s hope there’ll be few deaths on our front tonight, dear.”

HENRY
“What?! No blood! It’s part of the event!”

With that, Henry, Maggie, Ches and Hugo leave the dining room. The Doctor, Nyssa and Jeremy are left behind.

NYSSA
“I wish Mr. MacDonald didn’t refer to me as a ‘little girl’.”

JEREMY
“My father can be stubborn and inconsiderate at times.”

DOCTOR
(insistently) “I have to see what this battle is! I don’t like the sound of it!” (to Jeremy) “Mr. MacDonald…”

JEREMY
(interjects) “Please! Call me Jeremy!”

DOCTOR
(continues) “Jeremy! Where is this battle taking place?”

JEREMY
“I’m not sure. It’s all observed from the tower!”

NYSSA
“Tower?”

JEREMY
“The Bartizan! I’ll take you there myself!”

DOCTOR
“That would be most appreciated! Thank you, Jeremy!”

JEREMY
“It’s this way!”

With that, the Doctor, Nyssa and Jeremy head out of the dining room. As they head out, Nyssa takes Jeremy to one side.

NYSSA
“Jeremy? You haven’t seen a young man on your travels by any chance, have you? He’s about the same age as me! Dark hair; handsome; wearing a blue shirt and a grey top? His name is Billy!”

JEREMY
“I’m sorry, lass. Iona and I haven’t seen anybody called Billy.”

Disgruntled, Nyssa eventually follows Jeremy and the Doctor out of the dining room. The doors close shut behind them.


SCENE #42 – INT – TENT, FALKIRK MUIR – DAY, EVENING
Meanwhile, in a tent far away on Falkirk Muir, Cari gets woken up by Billy as she’s been sleeping.

BILLY
(insistently) “Cari! Cari, wake up! Cari!”

Cari groans as she wakes up. Shots from rifles and shotguns echo from from outside.

CARI
“Billy? Did I just drop off?”

BILLY
“For a moment, yes.”

CARI
“Where are the guards?”

BILLY
“They’re outside! Most of them went out to fight!”

CARI
“We’re still being kept as their prisoners then?!”

BILLY
“Yes! I went to check to see if the guards had fallen asleep. How wrong I was when I saw the points of their spears!”

CARI
“I wonder what’s going to happen to us! What will they do to us if they get back here after finishing their fighting?”

BILLY
(puzzled) “I remember reading somewhere that the Jacobean Scots died out in Culloden! When we were with Macmillan and Buchanan, I thought we were in Scotland where I come from back in the sixties. But then there’s you of course! Aliens in Scotland were rare back then! So this must be the future” (Pause) “How come the Jacobean Scots are fighting on Culloden again? And why?”

CARI
“They’re fighting the MacDonald forces because they’re working with the Mackintoshes!”

BILLY
(baffled) “Sorry, what did you say?”

CARI
(surprised) “Didn’t you know? The MacDonalds have the Scots from the Middle-Ages and the Mackintoshes have the Jacobeans!”

Moment of silence.

CARI
(astonished) “You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?!”

BILLY
(apprehensive) “Cari? Is there a war going on here?”

CARI
“Of course there is!” (Pause) “There’s civil war in Scotland!”


SCENE #43 – EXT – FALKIRK MUIR, SCOTLAND – DAY, EVENING
Meanwhile on Falkirk Muir, the Scottish armies led by William Wallace from 1298 march forward. Hamish and Duncan are among the Scottish army, as bagpipe music gets played and echoes in the background.

HAMISH
“Are you ready for this, Duncan?”

DUNCAN
“Not really, Hamish.”

HAMISH
“Neither am I.” (Pause) “Let’s hope ‘Longshanks’ and his dastardly English get what they deserve! They’ve raped our wives and murdered our men long enough!”

DUNCAN
“At least we’ll have a better chance than at Stirling!”

The Scottish army keeps on marching on Falkirk Muir.


SCENE #44 – EXT – FALKIRK MUIR, SCOTLAND – DAY, EVENING
Meanwhile, the Jacobean Scottish armies from 1746 march forward on Falkirk Muir. Alistair and Ewan are among those armies, as bagpipe music gets played and echoes in the background.

EWAN
“Alistair! I’m worried about those Sassenachs we left back at camp!”

ALISTAIR
“Never mind that now, Ewan! We have our lives to fight for!”

EWAN
“I want this night to be over with so that I can go home! Night’s not a time for a man to fight in his fine kilt and tartan!”

ALISTAIR
“Ewan! I have faith in Bonnie Prince Charlie! And pray God, I hope he knows how to deal with these Redcoats!”

EWAN
“At least we’ll be better at fighting than last time in Culloden!”

Alistair and Ewan keep on marching with the rest of the Jacobean Scottish forces.


SCENE #45 – INT – BARTIZAN, EILEAN DONAN CASTLE – DAY, EVENING
Back at Eliean Donan Castle, out in the open air, the Doctor and Nyssa are escorted by Jeremy as they make their way up to the Bartizan tower. They join Henry, Maggie, Hugo and Ches as they look out from the battlements.

JEREMY
“Welcome to the Bartizan! Not much space, I know! But at least we can view the battle here!”

There are video screens flickering in the room which causes concern for the Doctor.

DOCTOR
(astonished; concerned) “You have eight-inch screens here?! In the Bartizan?!”

NYSSA
“I’m surprised you happen to have this kind of technology contained in this part of the castle! Especially when the stonework’s aged and crumbling!”

HENRY
(boastfully) “We may be backward looking, miss! But we’re very up-to-date with our technology, thank you very much!”

DOCTOR
“Yes I’m sure you are, Mr. MacDonald. A very interesting juxtaposition, I’m sure!”

NYSSA
“Too cliché in my opinion.”

DOCTOR
“And precisely what are you watching on these screens, Mr. MacDonald?”

HENRY
“See for yourselves!”

The Doctor and Nyssa look to see what’s being shown on the screens.

NYSSA
(gradually) “There are fields in both screens. They look very similar. The same field. There must be two cameras monitoring it!”

HUGO
“They are both the same, miss! They are one field! The field of Falkirk Muir!”

DOCTOR
(realises) “Falkirk! Of course! The battlefield where the Jacobeans won a victory over the English in seventeen forty-six!” (Pause; grimly) “As well as the place where William Wallace and his men fought the battle of Falkirk against the English and failed in twelve ninety-eight.”

HENRY
“Failed, yes!” (Pause) “But not this evening!”

DOCTOR
(puzzled) “I’m sorry?”

NYSSA
(intrigued) “What exactly are we meant to be seeing on the screens, Mr. MacDonald?”

HENRY
(boldly) “The Battles of Falkirk! They should be happening any time now!”

CHES
(thrilled) “How exciting! Cari should be here to see this!”

Nyssa and the Doctor then talk quietly to each other.

NYSSA
(quietly) “Doctor, I don’t understand!”

DOCTOR
(quietly) “Neither do I.” (Pause) “I’m rather surprised by Mr. MacDonald’s remark about the Battle of Falkirk! The one that William Wallace fought. He seemed confident that it would not fail!”

NYSSA
(quietly) “You mean hadn’t failed, Doctor. You said the battle occurred in the past! In twelve ninety-eight you said!”

DOCTOR
(quietly) “I wonder, Nyssa. I just wonder. What did Mr. MacDonald mean?”

Moment of silence.

NYSSA
(quietly) “Doctor, there’s a map over there on that table!”

DOCTOR
(quietly) “So there is!” (cheerfully; to Jeremy) “Jeremy, may we have a look at that map please?”

JEREMY
“Of course! It’s nothing really. Just a battle plan.”

NYSSA
“Battle plan? Of Falkirk, I presume.”

JEREMY
“Nay, lass! Of Scotland!”

The Doctor and Nyssa go over to the table where the map is. They’re joined by Jeremy, whilst Henry and the others look at the video screens.

MAGGIE
“Henry? I thought I saw…are those our soldiers?”

HENRY
“Yes! Yes, my dear! They are Wallace’s men!”

HUGO
“And here come the other soldiers from the other side of the field!”

HENRY
“Yes! The English armies are also there! The tournament begins! Now we shall see which army is best!”

CHES
(thrilled) “How exciting this is!”

Meanwhile, the Doctor and Nyssa look at the map of ‘Scotland’ with Jeremy.

JEREMY
“Well, Doctor? Is it of any use to you looking at that old map?”

NYSSA
(puzzled) “Doctor, this map is very confusing. It seems to strategise all of the battles that occur in Scotland!”

DOCTOR
(sceptically) “That would be the case Nyssa, if it were Scotland that is.”

JEREMY
(puzzled) “I beg your pardon, Doctor?”

NYSSA
“What do you mean if it were Scotland, Doctor? It is Scotland! Jeremy said so!”

JEREMY
“Aye, that I did! It is Scotland, Doctor! Look at the map! Doesn’t it look like Scotland to you?”

DOCTOR
(seriously) “No Jeremy, it doesn’t! The geography’s all wrong!”

JEREMY
“Pardon?”

NYSSA
“Are you sure about that, Doctor?”

DOCTOR
(seriously) “The geography’s all wrong, I tell you! Fort William is too close to Fort Augustus…and Stirling Bridge and Culloden happen to be in the same place! There are more inaccuracies with the map I can tell you about! But I’ll let you work that out for yourself!”

NYSSA
“So, this isn’t what Scotland’s meant to look like then. It’s not supposed to be in the form of…a large continental structure.”

DOCTOR
“Not according to my reliable memory!”

NYSSA
(shrewdly) “That’ll be the day, Doctor!”

DOCTOR
(seriously) “Nyssa, Scotland looks more like the United States of America compared to the real Scotland!”

NYSSA
(puzzled) “United States of America?”

JEREMY
“But…Scotland’s always been like this! It’s how I remember it when I was a little boy!”

NYSSA
(disturbed) “Doctor?”

DOCTOR
“What is it, Nyssa?”

NYSSA
(disturbed) “Look at the video screens! The battles are commencing!”

They look to the video screens and see the battles of Falkirk taking place. Henry, Hugo and Ches watch excitedly, whilst Maggie looks on uninterested. Henry, Hugo and Ches cheer as they watch. Jeremy is frustrated whilst the Doctor and Nyssa are quite disturbed by what they see on the video screens.

JEREMY
(frustrated) “Father can be so proud and obstinate when he wants to change the rules!”

NYSSA
(disturbed) “Doctor, those Scottish armies! They’re dying out there! And Mr. and Mrs. MacDonald aren’t doing anything about it!”

DOCTOR
(disturbed) “Yes Nyssa, but I’m afraid that’s not the issue! The issue is the time and place of those battles!”

NYSSA
(puzzled) “What do you mean?”

DOCTOR
“Look at the screens, Nyssa! The Battle of Falkirk between Wallace’s Scottish army and the English is taking place! But so is the Battle of Falkirk Muir between the Jacobean Scots and the Redcoats!”

NYSSA
“So?”

DOCTOR
“Look carefully, Nyssa! Look closely at those screens!”

Nyssa looks closely at the video screens as the Doctor tells her to. Moment of silence ensues.

NYSSA
(gradually; realises; shocked) “The two battles, Doctor! I can see on the video screens! They’re happening now! Both the battles are happening this very minute! On the same battlefield! The same battlefield of Falkirk Muir!”

DOCTOR
(grimly) “Yes, Nyssa! The twelve ninety-eight Battle of Falkirk is happening…but so is the seventeen forty-six Battle of Falkirk! In the same place…and at the same time!” (Pause) “This is definitely contradicting the laws of history!”

The Doctor and Nyssa continue watching the video screens, as the two battles between the Scots of Wallace against the English and between the Jacobean Scots against the Redcoats occur at the same time that evening on the battlefield of Falkirk.


Sting music. Roll original 1982 Peter Davison end credits.


© Tim Bradley, 2017

 Go back to

‘Part One, Chapter 3’ of ‘Chieftain’s Caves’

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‘Part Two, Chapter 5’ of ‘Chieftain’s Caves’

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